Love is harsh. Facing all the ups and downs, you must be shocked you're still riding this roller coaster! Well, what can you do? The heart wants what it wants...
What kind of troubles are popping up in your relationship? Why are you hurting so much? Have you ever stopped and asked yourself those questions, and actually found an answer that was relevant? Let me help you look over the possible bumps in the road, or hills however you prefer it.
If any of these relate to you, let me help on what you might wanna do to solve your problem.
Let's start off with the first one. If your 'bae' hangs out with a person/people you become seriously jealous with, please, don't break it off. If you see her/him making out with her, probably dropping the relationship is the best. But, if he/she just says they're friends, talk to her/him. Let your special person know it's bothering you and that it's not that you don't trust them, you don't trust her/his "friends". If the case is you don't trust your partner, then there's a real issue. Of course she/he will ask why you don't and state your reasons, if you don't have any, I'm sure myself you are overreacting. Once your reasons are stated, and they are relevant, the person should comply but if they don't that's when you'd make them pick. Don't wait to use the "pick me or him/her" trick. She/he'll take it harder as times so the sooner the better. Message me if you have more worries about that one!
If they're forgetting nearly all or all of your plans with him/her, there may be an issue, but maybe it's not one to get mad over. An assumption may have fallen over, like "maybe she/he's cheating on me." Or maybe: "She/He doesn't care and must have more important things to do."
That might not be true, boo. You need to do some investigating for this one. When I'm usually late for events or never there at all, is because something came up or something happened that I wouldn't be able to tell someone else, even my boyfriend (if i had one lol #ball is life). Maybe consider his/her life. Ask him/her what's going on, and don't be afraid to talk to the person about it. It may not be as heart breaking as you think, at least not for you. Hell, maybe it will be, but not in the way you expected. Don't lose all faith in your partner. Remember, don't come off as defensive come off as vulnerable, like you have a gut feeling something is wrong and you care for them. Coming off as defensive is pretty hard not to do. Talk in a soft tone, and furrow your eyebrows in confusion and worry, NOT anger! Message me if you're curious about this one too!
How long have you guys been dating? Two months? Two weeks? Here's the real question; have you two been on dates yet?! Dates are an important step into becoming an official boyfriend/girlfriend. I'd say five minimum, then someone should ask the other to become a 'thing'. If you're too scared of asking, or too shy or awkward much like myself, try another approach. Drop hints like say something like "Wow Valentine's Day is so close I wish someone would ask me 'be mine'." Or, "It sucks Valentine's Day past and I still don't have an official boyfriend/girlfriend." And pls twirl your hair/twiddle your fingers & bite your lip while doing so LOL! Another trick I love is the whole taking your diary with you thing and writing your last entry like "Wowza I wish I had a boyfriend/girlfriend. I like _______ a lot but I'm so shy. Can't she/he just ask me?!" And walk away to the bathroom. If you know theyre too good of a person to look at it, drop it on the floor and make sure it falls open so he/she is more tempted to look in it.
Connecting with that topic^, dates are a main thing here. A lot of people now a days don't really go on dates anymore. Going on dates helps the two of you get closer. You can go to a girl/boy on the street and ask them on a date, and they'll say yes if they were willing to, but ask them to be your boyfriend/girlfriend right away, and I bet the answer will be no or I don't know you. Make sure you spend time with your lover on a regular basis and that's not just once a week, up your game! If you're scared, go on a double date or even just invite them over for dinner, or something quiet like a movie where you two talk less, but watch a movie genre you both like. You can discover a lot about a person from the movie they prefer.
If your parents don't let you date, it could be an issue. For me, it's in between. My mom lets me date but we hide it from my dad because he doesn't even let me look at boys, I'm serious here... Having to hide it can be a real pressure. Those gifts you can't bring home, those photo's you can't frame, those conversations you can't have with your parents for advice. It all puts a toll on you, but don't let it affect your relationship. If it's something that will last, he/she will accept your boundaries and will wait until you are allowed. Sure, date them if you really like them but be careful and don't get too wild. Your parents just want the best for you and they're scared, don't get mad at them. Heck, just love everybody.
Okay, here's my main issue. If he/she hates a friend, don't be too defensive. Maybe they have a bad past or maybe she/he knows that your friend doesn't like her/him. Talk to your friend and see if she/he knows what the deal is. If your boyfriend/girlfriend just hates them, go on a double date with him/her and your friend or a group hang out. Get those too close together and try to talk about it with them both there if it won't be awkward. Try to talk to both people about this issue because it's two-sided and don't just take one side if they both seem very different, ask around if you need too. Also remember that whole jealously thing! But, if it comes to family, and I mean close family that you actually consider family. First, figure out what his/her's problem is with them and if it's so out of line, dump her/him, dump em' good. You take me, you take my whole package buddy and that's not just this booty. *snaps fingers*
Have you guys been drifting apart or do you guys just not talk? If you guys just don't talk, maybe it's because one of you was somewhat forced into the relationship or just isn't happy. I wouldn't jump to that conclusion though if you knew about any social anxiety issues. Loving you won't take that away, sorry bud. Talk to the person about it and alone. If you feel like it'll make the person more comfortable, talk through Facebook or something. I prefer that way since I'm socially awkward and can express myself in a better and more honest way through wifi. If you guys ares are drifting omg plz donut talk to each other and mainly about it please. Don't rush into the topic next time you see him/her, just move into it slowly. Talk about what you've been doing, ask your partner questions about whats been going on, even if its been just two days, I bet something happened. Ask her/him if anythings been happening at home, if you know they'll talk or at least hope and ask them about school, their friends, try to solve the problem before asking about the issue right away. Then after all that and still barely anything, drop the question, "Why aren't you talking to me?" And whisper it in a deep meaningful tone while grabbing their hands and moving closer to them plsplspls.
Are they the ones counting it quits almost every month/week? Are they the one coming back, or are you? First of all, think about the girl/boy and their history with dating. Have they dated many people perhaps too quickly and are they treating you the same? Umm, sorry. But have they never dated? Ah, this is THAT case. He/she is worried and scared and so much more. You need to give them a break when they need it and don't force them back so quickly, but please do remind them of your love. A first timer can go haywire on feelings and emotions they don't know which ones are real. First timers usually like long relationships, so stay committed to them and thy'll be back when they can. If you somehow feel different with girl/boy who has dated a lot then I'd say, once again, talk to them, seriously. Don't be afraid to get angry but say it don't spray it/caps lock it. It shows how serious you are about this and how much of a temptation he/she is for you and if you feel like a toy, god dammit say it! Let he/she know how you feel and if their reaction is as true as yours, he/she also just scared and worried and is probably scared of commitment.
If they're not telling you anything, it's because: they don't trust you, they love you, or they're scared/unconfident. They may not trust you because maybe you haven't been open with yourself towards them. I know when someone talks to me about their deep problems, I can say mine just as comfortably. Having relations with someone is the best way to someones heart. If they love you, they don't want to hurt you. Maybe they are smoking like you think they are, or maybe her/his dad does beat her, but why would they want you to know if it'll only hurt you. This is one where asking them about it and almost bugging them about it helps. It proves you care enough not to die over it for her/him and you're willing to be there. Don't get angry though, get serious and meaningful. If they're scared, use the first tactic, but at a slower pace. Don't purge them at all about this. Let them come out slowly and if it's too slowly ask them "What's wrong babe?" if they say no reassure them that you're here and you love them and nothing with break either one of you two if you guys are together and if she/he is still not talking about it, try again tomorrow or the next time they seem off.
If you have anymore love questions ask me! I'll reply to every single one of them!
Btw I never dated, like, not even once and these will only work with a certain variety of people. If your person is different, ask me about them and I'll see if I can help.
What kind of troubles are popping up in your relationship? Why are you hurting so much? Have you ever stopped and asked yourself those questions, and actually found an answer that was relevant? Let me help you look over the possible bumps in the road, or hills however you prefer it.
- Does he/she hang out with too many people that you may become jealous of?
- Does he/she forget all your plans?
- Has he/she even become official yet?
- How many dates have you two been on?
- Do your parents allow you to date?
- Does he/she hate your best friend/family?
- Do you two even talk?
- Do they keep breaking up with you?
- Are they holding out on you?
If any of these relate to you, let me help on what you might wanna do to solve your problem.
Let's start off with the first one. If your 'bae' hangs out with a person/people you become seriously jealous with, please, don't break it off. If you see her/him making out with her, probably dropping the relationship is the best. But, if he/she just says they're friends, talk to her/him. Let your special person know it's bothering you and that it's not that you don't trust them, you don't trust her/his "friends". If the case is you don't trust your partner, then there's a real issue. Of course she/he will ask why you don't and state your reasons, if you don't have any, I'm sure myself you are overreacting. Once your reasons are stated, and they are relevant, the person should comply but if they don't that's when you'd make them pick. Don't wait to use the "pick me or him/her" trick. She/he'll take it harder as times so the sooner the better. Message me if you have more worries about that one!
If they're forgetting nearly all or all of your plans with him/her, there may be an issue, but maybe it's not one to get mad over. An assumption may have fallen over, like "maybe she/he's cheating on me." Or maybe: "She/He doesn't care and must have more important things to do."
That might not be true, boo. You need to do some investigating for this one. When I'm usually late for events or never there at all, is because something came up or something happened that I wouldn't be able to tell someone else, even my boyfriend (if i had one lol #ball is life). Maybe consider his/her life. Ask him/her what's going on, and don't be afraid to talk to the person about it. It may not be as heart breaking as you think, at least not for you. Hell, maybe it will be, but not in the way you expected. Don't lose all faith in your partner. Remember, don't come off as defensive come off as vulnerable, like you have a gut feeling something is wrong and you care for them. Coming off as defensive is pretty hard not to do. Talk in a soft tone, and furrow your eyebrows in confusion and worry, NOT anger! Message me if you're curious about this one too!
How long have you guys been dating? Two months? Two weeks? Here's the real question; have you two been on dates yet?! Dates are an important step into becoming an official boyfriend/girlfriend. I'd say five minimum, then someone should ask the other to become a 'thing'. If you're too scared of asking, or too shy or awkward much like myself, try another approach. Drop hints like say something like "Wow Valentine's Day is so close I wish someone would ask me 'be mine'." Or, "It sucks Valentine's Day past and I still don't have an official boyfriend/girlfriend." And pls twirl your hair/twiddle your fingers & bite your lip while doing so LOL! Another trick I love is the whole taking your diary with you thing and writing your last entry like "Wowza I wish I had a boyfriend/girlfriend. I like _______ a lot but I'm so shy. Can't she/he just ask me?!" And walk away to the bathroom. If you know theyre too good of a person to look at it, drop it on the floor and make sure it falls open so he/she is more tempted to look in it.
Connecting with that topic^, dates are a main thing here. A lot of people now a days don't really go on dates anymore. Going on dates helps the two of you get closer. You can go to a girl/boy on the street and ask them on a date, and they'll say yes if they were willing to, but ask them to be your boyfriend/girlfriend right away, and I bet the answer will be no or I don't know you. Make sure you spend time with your lover on a regular basis and that's not just once a week, up your game! If you're scared, go on a double date or even just invite them over for dinner, or something quiet like a movie where you two talk less, but watch a movie genre you both like. You can discover a lot about a person from the movie they prefer.
If your parents don't let you date, it could be an issue. For me, it's in between. My mom lets me date but we hide it from my dad because he doesn't even let me look at boys, I'm serious here... Having to hide it can be a real pressure. Those gifts you can't bring home, those photo's you can't frame, those conversations you can't have with your parents for advice. It all puts a toll on you, but don't let it affect your relationship. If it's something that will last, he/she will accept your boundaries and will wait until you are allowed. Sure, date them if you really like them but be careful and don't get too wild. Your parents just want the best for you and they're scared, don't get mad at them. Heck, just love everybody.
Okay, here's my main issue. If he/she hates a friend, don't be too defensive. Maybe they have a bad past or maybe she/he knows that your friend doesn't like her/him. Talk to your friend and see if she/he knows what the deal is. If your boyfriend/girlfriend just hates them, go on a double date with him/her and your friend or a group hang out. Get those too close together and try to talk about it with them both there if it won't be awkward. Try to talk to both people about this issue because it's two-sided and don't just take one side if they both seem very different, ask around if you need too. Also remember that whole jealously thing! But, if it comes to family, and I mean close family that you actually consider family. First, figure out what his/her's problem is with them and if it's so out of line, dump her/him, dump em' good. You take me, you take my whole package buddy and that's not just this booty. *snaps fingers*
Have you guys been drifting apart or do you guys just not talk? If you guys just don't talk, maybe it's because one of you was somewhat forced into the relationship or just isn't happy. I wouldn't jump to that conclusion though if you knew about any social anxiety issues. Loving you won't take that away, sorry bud. Talk to the person about it and alone. If you feel like it'll make the person more comfortable, talk through Facebook or something. I prefer that way since I'm socially awkward and can express myself in a better and more honest way through wifi. If you guys ares are drifting omg plz donut talk to each other and mainly about it please. Don't rush into the topic next time you see him/her, just move into it slowly. Talk about what you've been doing, ask your partner questions about whats been going on, even if its been just two days, I bet something happened. Ask her/him if anythings been happening at home, if you know they'll talk or at least hope and ask them about school, their friends, try to solve the problem before asking about the issue right away. Then after all that and still barely anything, drop the question, "Why aren't you talking to me?" And whisper it in a deep meaningful tone while grabbing their hands and moving closer to them plsplspls.
Are they the ones counting it quits almost every month/week? Are they the one coming back, or are you? First of all, think about the girl/boy and their history with dating. Have they dated many people perhaps too quickly and are they treating you the same? Umm, sorry. But have they never dated? Ah, this is THAT case. He/she is worried and scared and so much more. You need to give them a break when they need it and don't force them back so quickly, but please do remind them of your love. A first timer can go haywire on feelings and emotions they don't know which ones are real. First timers usually like long relationships, so stay committed to them and thy'll be back when they can. If you somehow feel different with girl/boy who has dated a lot then I'd say, once again, talk to them, seriously. Don't be afraid to get angry but say it don't spray it/caps lock it. It shows how serious you are about this and how much of a temptation he/she is for you and if you feel like a toy, god dammit say it! Let he/she know how you feel and if their reaction is as true as yours, he/she also just scared and worried and is probably scared of commitment.
If they're not telling you anything, it's because: they don't trust you, they love you, or they're scared/unconfident. They may not trust you because maybe you haven't been open with yourself towards them. I know when someone talks to me about their deep problems, I can say mine just as comfortably. Having relations with someone is the best way to someones heart. If they love you, they don't want to hurt you. Maybe they are smoking like you think they are, or maybe her/his dad does beat her, but why would they want you to know if it'll only hurt you. This is one where asking them about it and almost bugging them about it helps. It proves you care enough not to die over it for her/him and you're willing to be there. Don't get angry though, get serious and meaningful. If they're scared, use the first tactic, but at a slower pace. Don't purge them at all about this. Let them come out slowly and if it's too slowly ask them "What's wrong babe?" if they say no reassure them that you're here and you love them and nothing with break either one of you two if you guys are together and if she/he is still not talking about it, try again tomorrow or the next time they seem off.
If you have anymore love questions ask me! I'll reply to every single one of them!
Btw I never dated, like, not even once and these will only work with a certain variety of people. If your person is different, ask me about them and I'll see if I can help.